The Gina Gold Show: Blogging For The Rest Of You Muthas....
random stories from a woman with compulsive disclosure
The Island Of Misfit Toys 83(A Novel)- 1,2,3 Ya Ya Ya
I was starting to feel like a machine, show my butt, show my crotch, show my breasts. Turn, walk two steps, bend, turn, show my butt, show my crotch, show my breasts 1.2.3. Time for my break, back from my break. Back on stage 1,2,3 show my crotch, a little variety show my butt ya, ya, ya.
The Hollidays were coming up. I didn't have the money to fly home to NY. My money seemed to just magically disappear. I got a dollar raise every week until I hit 32.00 an hour. I was already at 20.00 an hour. What was the problem? Thinking about it made me hungry so when I got home I ordered Chinese food for myself and a few things for Cheeze Whiz in case she decided to eat. The bill came to 32.46.
I sat and munched on potstickers as I pondered where my money went.
The Island Of Misfit Toys 82(A Novel)- Dickweed
Sometimes men didn't want to see Black dancers. That was the way it was. The same person I might see in another context might smile in my face but in here he felt he didn't have to. He paid his quarter and he had the right to see a white girl if he wanted to. It was a horrible feeling. I tried to let it roll off my back like Black Cohosh did but it was easier for her, she was high all the time. Perhaps I needed to rethink being clean and sober. One time a white man looked at me and then spun on his heels and walked out of the booth. There wasn't a damn thing I could do about it either. "Just ignore that fucking Dickweed!" said Octopussy.
Easy for her say.
And what the hell was a Dickweed?
The Island Of Misfit Toys 81(A Novel)- Zante Pizza Has The Best Indian Food!
"Why aren't you eating?" I said.
"I am eating?" said Cheeze Whiz.
"You left a whole box of chocolate scones sitting on the table ovenight, there's something not right about that."
"I'm just not hungry."
"I bought chicken tikka masala home for dinner. From your favorite Indian place, Zante Pizza."
"No thanks."
No chicken tikka masala? This was not good.
The Island Of Misfit Toys 80(A Novel)- Eric B. Is President
Listening to the juke box at the Lusty Lady while dancing on stage. The song was Eric B. and Rakim.
Go get a girl and get soft and warm,Don't get excited, you've been invited to a quiet stormBut now it's out of hand cuz you told me you hate meAnd then you ask what have I done latelyFirst you said all you want is love and affection Let me be your angel and I'll be your protection.....I let the music take me away. I half closed my eyes and tuned out the customers. I imagined I was being worshipped by millions of people. Everyone could see me, everyone wanted to be near me. I was famous.
Fame
It's all I ever wanted. It's all I dreamed of. I no longer cared how I got there. I wanted to be noticed, adored, sought after. I would kill to be famous, I was addicted to it, I would die for it.
Take you out, buy you all kinds of thingsI must of got you too hot and burned off your wingsYou caught an attitude, you need food to eat upI'm scheming like I'm dreaming on a couch wit my feet upYou scream I'm lazy, you must be crazyThought I was a donut, you tried to glaze me
I opened my eyes all the way to see a tall white man staring intently from behind the glass. I smiled.
The Island Of Misfit Toys 79(A Novel)- Deviant
Something strange was happening to me. I was starting to believe I was one of a chosen few, strippers. Different from everyone else, deviant, animal like, exotic, crazy. Finally I was somebody, I stood out and made people take notice. I was in command of my being, my sexuality. I called the shots. If you wanted to look at me you have to pay for it, no longer could you take what you wanted for free. I was a stripper, I no longer had to abide by the same rules you did, I was special, I made my own rules. I was sought after, paid attention to, worshipped, valued.
I was a stripper.
A voice came up from deep inside of me and said you know everything you just said is bullshit .
I stuffed several donuts into my mouth in the course of two minutes and the voice from deep inside went back down again.
You're A Special Nobody
My daughter said she made up a song for me. I got all excited until she started singing the words in a raspy high pitched voice. The song went just like this,
You're a special nobody
You're a special nobody
You're a special nobody
You're a special noooooooooooobo-dy
She said the song was just for me and she belted it out like she meant it. I wasn't sure what to say.
The Island Of Misfit Toys 78(A Novel)- She Calls Herself Black Cohosh.
In the dressing room with Cheeze Whiz.
"That is the most ridiculous thing I've heard in my life. Black fucking Cohosh, are you kidding me?" I said.
"Calm down!" Cheeze Whiz said. "What do you care if she calls herself Black Cohosh?"
"It's a stupid ass name, I hate it when Black girls have names like Brown Sugar, Ebony, shit like that it's stupid. We can see your Black, you don't need to announce it!"
"For your information Black Cohosh is an ancient herb used to treat women's issues for years." Cheeze Whiz said.
" Ya, whatever. I'm going on stage.
"Lay off the fucking sugar China Blue."
The Island Of Misfit Toys 77 (A Novel)- Mo Sugar, Mo Flour, Mo Better
I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. I was in another world. It seemed like none of of the other dancers noticed that men were jacking off right in front of us. I myself couldn't get passed it. This called for more sugar and flour and a touch of caffeine. Ah! All better now.
The flour and sugar had the nerve to start to show on my body. How dare me gain weight. Wasn't I entitled to eat whatever the hell I wanted and not have it show on my body? I wasn't fat but I didn't exercise and I was starting to get a little tummy. So instead of changing my eating pattern I sucked it in while I was on stage. It got so I could hold my stomach muscles for hours. The good news was that my breasts were now 32DD. I was considered very busty and busty girls always got the best shifts.
Mo sugar, mo flour, mo better.
The Island Of Misfit Toys 76 (A Novel)- An Ashy Crack Head
I figured out that if you drank a cup of Vietnemese coffee sweetened with condensed milk three times a day you could simulate the behavior of an ashy crackhead.
What the hell was my problem? I couldn't put down the caffeine and the sugar. Of course the The Lusty lady was right next to Little Italy which left plenty of time for a cannoli before work. I didn't even like cannolis. It was like I was driven to quell something inside of me, something that seemed to be saying What the hell are you doing, you are not a stripper, quit now before it's too late! But if I ate flour and sugar and drank lots of caffiene I could ignore those voices. Just like Cheeze Whiz drank to ignore the voices in her head. Her demons seemed even bigger than mine. They loomed over her like a giant shadow ready to consume her if she let her guard down. As much as I admired her, I knew her baggage was heavy. How much time did she have before her baggage got too full and exploded. How much time did I have, should have been my question.
Student's Decide To steal Ice Cream From Corner Store
Gina, tired of being pushed around by her own students, decides to fight back!
